Medium Editor’s Pick: Be Alarmed: Social Media is About to Get Boring


I’m really worried about what’s about to happen.

There’s no precedent for this type of colossal void in our nation’s history. When you think about it, what may happen on November 9th betrays the fundamental commitment of internet culture, which is to provide a compelling reason to waste time. Yet, that’s exactly where we appear to be headed. Be alarmed. Be very alarmed about how boring social media is about to become.

We’re going backwards, and I personally do not wish to return to a time when I didn’t feel that adrenaline rush of outrage each time I opened my browser. I dread the day when I won’t wake up to reports of an aggrieved, 3am Tweetstorm or a new salacious revelation or an inspired, if truth-challenged, Kellyanne Conway spin. I can’t conceive that there will soon be a moment when Donald Trump’s words will just be the word of an ordinary citizen, much like those of “RifleTed486” or “Viv#NeverHillary39”.

Hours before dawn’s first light, I find myself waking in a cold sweat, panicking. What will all my new Facebook friends think of me, now that I’ll just be posting videos of 5-year-old dance recitals again? What are all the Late Night people going to talk about? New scientific studies? The Cleveland Browns? Justin Bieber? We have reached a new low.

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