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HuffPost: Mom Returns to Work

Lisa Waver 381 Shaky Lane Inland, NY 911-911-9111 CONSULTANT Nine-year record of middling functionality under extreme sleep deprivation Known to staff as a dedicated and seasoned emotional dumping ground Ornery multitasker EXPERIENCE Senior Consultant, 2006 to 2014, ABCDEFG COMPANY Designed and created interactive infographic to measure performance of daily tasks and instituted intricate reward system […]

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McSweeneys: The Man with the Yellow Hat Goes to Therapy

June 20, 2039 I did call up Mrs. Needleman, just as we discussed. I said, “Would you like to go on a date?” No ambiguity, no vague plans she could misinterpret. So I don’t think you could make the claim that I’m avoiding intimacy this time. I admit I forgot what you advised about going […]

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The Hairpin: Support for This Operating System Has Ended

What does this status alert mean for you? Your system is no longer protected and is vulnerable to malware, spam, viruses, hackers, insults both overt and subtle, and the Black Plague. Your operating system now feels like a four-year-old boy who gets separated from his mother at the supermarket and is found inconsolable in the […]

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The Hairpin: Expansion of French Women Don’t Series

INTERNAL PUBLISHING MEMO In light of the success of French Women Don’t Get Fat: The Secret of Eating for Pleasure and its follow-up French Women Don’t Get Facelifts: The Secret of Aging with Style and Attitude, the series will be expanded in 2015 with the following titles: Older Danish Women Don’t Mind Looking Leathery: The Secret to Having 5 […]

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The Rumpus: Epicurious.com Reader Comments

Bruce Krieger is clearly a very confused person. 1 teaspoon cream tartar in his “S’mores Cheesecake” topping? I feel sorry for his children. by DSR from New York | flag if inappropriate That the writer of this recipe is deeply insecure and in need of psychological intervention is not in question. What concerns me is […]