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I’m Pretty Sure That James Comey is Going to Ask Me to Marry Him!

Call me crazy, but I’m pretty sure that Thursday is going to be the most important day of my life! I know, I know. You think I’m getting carried away. Again. But hear me out. I’m certain that once you’ve listened to our story, you’ll agree that Thursday will make me the happiest woman on […]

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What is Covfefe?

Covfefe is the gradual transmogrification of Donald Trump into Richard Nixon, a process fuelled by a diet of paranoia and KFC and self-delusion Covfefe is that feeling when you realize that the horror you experienced on November 9th and subsequently overcame was actually the exact right reaction and is still very much called for Covfefe […]

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The Haven: Why I Won’t Date Patrick Batemen Worshipers Anymore

“Beautiful women who get a fair amount of attention get full of themselves. Eventually, I was dreading getting dinner with them because they couldn’t carry a conversation.” – Why I won’t date hot women anymore, New York Post When it came to dating as a 30-something in New York, mergers and acquisitions manager Mark Farber […]

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McSweeney’s: Gender Bias Riddles

              A father and son get in a car crash and are rushed to the hospital. The father dies. The boy is taken to the operating room and the surgeon says, “I can’t operate on this boy, because he’s my son.” How is this possible? 49 front cover web […]

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Country on the Edge of WTF

    Stardate: 4032.2 [Bridge] (The Enterprise has collided with an unknown entity. The deck is shaking, making everyone wobble) KIRK: Mister Sulu, report. SULU: The turbulence is being caused by a ripple in time, Captain. (Sulu’s console explodes and he’s knocked out. McCoy enters with a syringe and bends down to treat the injured […]

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My Name is Donald Trump. I’m a Performance Artist and this is the Most Important Work I’ll Ever Do

You’ve misunderstood me from the start. As I descended that escalator to announce my Presidential campaign on that fateful June day, this was my first act of performance art. In utilising movement, I was drawing attention to the usually stagnant nature of social change. I am so surprised that no one got that. Every single […]