Let’s take a moment to worry. Here’s a helpful list of the things you’re doing wrong as a parent:
1. You’re messing up your kids with the foods you’re giving them to eat.
2. You’re messing up your kids with the foods you’re not giving them to eat.
3. The power struggles between you and your kid over food are messing up your kid.
4. If you don’t get your baby into a good sleep schedule, their sleep will be messed up for life. This makes you a douchebag.
5. If you let your baby cry it out, she’ll carry that trauma forever. This really makes you a douchebag.
6. If you let your baby decide when she sleeps, she’ll feel insecure because no responsible adult is setting meaningful limits in her life.
7. Baby should sleep in your bed if you want her to feel loved. You, however, don’t need to sleep.
8. Baby should sleep next to your bed if you want to make sure she’s safe.
9. Baby should sleep in a separate room if you want to make sure she becomes an independent person and gets into a good college.
10. Don’t use a stroller. Baby needs to be close to Mama in an “ergonomic” organic carrier. Your back will recover in five years.
11. Bathe your child in paraben-free, SLS-free, soap-free liquid cleanser-like substance. Not too hot. Or cold. The water should be a little like baby bear’s porridge. Continue Reading