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Washington Post: PTA culture and the working mother

My 6-year-old daughter recently told me how her best friend’s mother is always at school. This mom volunteers for library, for swimming, for the health walk and even made a papier-mâché spaceship for one of their class projects. Meanwhile I, who must cram in my work before my kids get home at 1:30 p.m., had penciled myself in for one library slot. Mari felt bad about it. So did I.

“I’m sorry,” I told Mari. “I’m working.”

“When I grow I up,” Mari declared. “I won’t work so I can come to school with my kids.”

It was spectacular. In one breath, she’d berated me and given up all her professional aspirations. She’d also forgotten all about her other working parent — my husband, who hadn’t even signed up for one library slot.

Unless you’re living under a rock or in deep denial, you’re aware that there’s an unfair burden placed on working women, also known as The Second Shift. In addition to their employment, women are still largely saddled with much of the unpaid labor they used to do before women entered the workforce 50 years ago. Buried beneath the larger issue are smaller details, like the PTA. In a society in which most women work — nearly two-thirds of American mothers are breadwinners — there’s still an expectation that the women will volunteer their time in the PTA and other school volunteer organizations, while men get a pass.

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